he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
