I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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