i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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