can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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