9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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