Dual....:-)
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
