At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
