Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
he puts the penis in happiness.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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