dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize