so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
