Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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