i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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