I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
