naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
