I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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