Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
