I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
