Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
So vagazzling was a success
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
