too bad you live with your parents still
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
