I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
