I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
