so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
