seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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