The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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