i think my tv is drunk
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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