If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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