You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
