Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
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He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
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Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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