Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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