So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
