remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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