In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
