I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize