I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
