She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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