I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
