If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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