This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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