It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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