She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Girls should come with a carfax report
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
