As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Randomize
