The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
