I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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