I like to think it a success when the cops are called
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my being single is dangerous.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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