I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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