and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
