If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
