so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
