i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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