Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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