Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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