i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
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I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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