just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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