She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
