Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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