dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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