It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
