I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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