I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
This is my gift to your gina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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