If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
zippers are such a cool invention
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
