At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
