we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
