glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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