pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
They took my balls.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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