If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
